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FUCK IT!
lol!
was a boring day,
finally finished FMGT presentation ytd,
1 proj down,
4 more to go, horrible day.
today went home early, intended to go with jing n her sis to see her buy hp
but was horribly, madly, tired.
so i freaking went home.
decided to install MU n play abit but FUCK, the driver had problem,
bloody mu!
so went in to play aud instead, ass.
was playing ok, my skills DROP BADLY
i think it will take time before it come back, well i dont bother,
play aud juz KILLS my time
lols, went in today with bianbian
and saw 2 noisy noobs =.=
coz bian n i was diff team, so i said gimme ez moves,
den they say ' wa why give her ez moves, we better give her hard modes'
elo noobs, ur hard moves aint HARD, it was fking ez.
well i admit i miss, i admit i noob, but u NOOBIER!
if i nv mia that long, i can counter it easily =.=
chicken head, my brain is full of sch stuff! lol!
so now this noob A was pming noob B ,
she din pm properly so she spilled it ' that idiot dawnnie '
dawnnie was my nick in aud, WELL,
EVEN THE BLIND CAN SEE SHE IS SCOLDING ME RIGHT! lol!
so i scolded her, weeee, bian scold her too.
we 2 hotttie, LOL.
den she denied, saying that it was another gal.
for what i know, there is a brokendawn, and one more dawnn gal,
not DAWNNIE
and i check ranking, no such name.
pls la u think i born ytd? LOL, she keep pm me ask me dun angry =.='
bah, dun bother!
argh, my chest hurts,
drinking, eating, sometimes breathing hurt,
talking sometimes hurt too, i dunno y
mayb its becoz i fell down the stair tht time?
its internal injury,
i think i wait a few more days before telling my mom!
scare she scold me =[
well, bye peeps.
my new tag line.
FUCK that (:
HI AH PEK
lol! just <3 teasing u (:
tired day today, dam tired,
went make a wish there n help up,
do some labour stuff, lols, the bear so cute (:
make a bread myself, yum yum bread <3
2 egg, 2 baby honey bake ham, 2 slice of wheat bread, and NOT TO FORGET! BA KUA!
lol!
den after that went yeeyee hse do fmgt proj
all of us forgot that we had a presentation on wednesday,
so we rush and quicky do!
hope all will go well, WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
<3 so in love with anime, comis! ~D:
<3 allen walker & wolfgram!
d gray man + kyou kara maou r0xer!
woots,!
tired >.<
everytime i wanna cry, i force myself to smile
utterly PISSED OFF!
why?!
ytd, i went down to tht ass company with me n my bro's gf,
firstly i doesnt wanna go down becoz it bring me BAD MEMORY!
i went down coz she say she will try to help me get refund becoz she has fren working there,
so i told her fren the story, on how i feel cheated etc.
den that guy went to tell the person in charge thats its just a kid problem
and ask her to talk to me, wth, kids prob?
so u think u r 22+ an adult den u got the right to say that its a kid problem?
simi fk la.
she said that she nv force me to buy the product.
that time i told my fren J that i dun wanna borrow money from fren, dun wan to cheat fren for the amt of money, so i told him, can i just do without buying the product,
and den, he told me that is better to buy the product keep pysco me,
i told him earlier i had a class list with all my fren contact no,
that time when he ask me, GUIDE ME TO BLUFF MY FREN TO BORROW MONEY,
that night he ask me go home, coz i told him next day got test,
he ask me dun think so much, i told him i dun wan borrow money,
all he said was, dun think so much, go home study, tmr bring class list down.
CLASS LIST FOR? TO CALL MY CLASS TO BORROW MONEY AGAIN ISNT IT, U THINK I SO FKING DUMB?!
that time i sms her within 7 days, if i can refund she said CANT, ONCE GOODS OPEN CANNOT B REFUND. yay so WTF,
ytd she told me even refund in 7days can only get back 60% of the amt.
U DIN TELL ME THIS. FK THAT.
and now they tell me the only way to solve is to go back n work to earn back the money.
den tht J said, ' dun gimme no time, give me some time n i help u success, i only want u to gimme 2 days from 1 week, sat n sun, if not worst come to worst, 1 day each week also can'
so u think I FUCKING FREE HAR. i am not saying poly is stress or what,
but fk it, hello, im from accountacy so u think i free? 5 modules on hand with 4 proj for each module. u seriously think i fking free.
if i give u my weekend, den my hw how? my fking proj how? yay, u said study is useless.
so what if i wanna study, my business ur business, even if its my parents who want me to study, even if i hate study, i wanna complete my diploma, so WHO R U TO FUCKING DECIDE WHAT I DO!
after we left he said that sry he cause a misunderstanding.
what u say are true, we are of diffferent stands, we see things differently,
maybe u had experience what i did before, but do u regret?
do u ever regret LYING TO UR FRENS?
if u r a cold blooded ass who dont i got nth to say,
u know how regretful i was when i cheated my best pal? u know? i think u dont coz u suck, u dun have feelings,
yay, fk down.
now they ask me go back work, lol.
no way (:
so fk that, u know how miserable u make my life?
u know u ruin my life? so fk that,
u know my ambition is what now?, i wanna study law, be a laywer, and fk those cheaters (:
so, FUCK THAT!
everytime i wanna cry, i force myself to smile
HORRIBLE DAY!
today i decided to wear my bloody slippers to school,
well my bloody slippers had no friction,
but i thought it wont rain..
when i was in lecture, it started raining heavily..
i was wearing skirt lehs..
diaos, den jing wanna go pee, well, i wanna go pee too
so i went with her, the toilet at canteen 1 was full,
so we went blk 72 the 2nd floor toilet there..
when walking down i SLIP
and slide down 4-5 steps.
OMFG, MY ASS!
it HURTS badly, *sniff sniff* my poor ass
so many people was looking at me!
so dam paiseh, oh well, but i still enjoy (:
i was luffing all the ways lol. so funny
accompany tee tee to acer headquarter..
lols, she bought a new keyboard at $90
becoz she spill the water herself and it isnt cover
under the warranty, poor her.. ):
oh well, da da da, dont act close to me coz u aint ;p
in this world, till now, i only trust myself, and my darling, my 3 closesttttt buddies,
and a few others (:
weee!
i love allen walker from d gray man!
yuuri , wolfgram from kyou kara maou!
<3 animes, <3 comics! (:
till death do we part, LOL!
everytime i wanna cry, i force myself to smile
its a been a LONGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG time since i blog
hhms, today darling came my hse,
she keep molest me today T.T molest my pigu..
lols, but i still <3 her lars
talk alot, yea and she love me too that i know (:
she told me something,
something happened at her hse,
its sad but she is strong.. i hope she will be better,
darling i <3 u, always here for u..
from her incident i realise,
when u find a good guy, grab it,
treasure him before u lose him becoz gd and faithful guy are hard to catch
i dunno if i love u before or even know..
i dunno my feelings,
but i do know u r gd guy.
u r gd to me,
if i ever say will u willing to stay by my side..
will u?
but everything is too late now, yea i know (:
for now i know that my path is dark,
i have to face everything alone..
im trying n trying.. (:
very tired day, finally going to finish FMGT project,
soon more project will come,
so dam slpy.
now watching kyou kara maou anime, its nice n funny
yea.
write till here, byee peeeps..
everytime i wanna cry, i force myself to smile (:
woot! tired day.
stayed overnight at tee hse for 2 whole days! hmpfs.
well, went to watch stepup with jing n 'bryan' today.
dam nice show loveit.
here r some pic i promise tht time.
we went to help hilman to make his wish came true, he wish to see batman and superman.
he is currently now 4 yrs old suffering from cancer.
we had alot of fun that day!
this is hilman's little sister! so cute rite.. keke.
tired day today~!
was so lazy n tired to update
today was a happy day (:
went to help out for Make-A-Wish.
its a organisation to grant children age 3-18 a wish, i think thats the age
cant rem i got poor memory..
i think i load the pics tmr..
staying overnite at tee hse to rush project..
dam tired, will update more next time..
whenever i wanna cry, i force myself to smile
As i expected =.=,
the someone's gf sms me =.='
we din contact for years, she sms me how am i =.=
oh well, some thoughts -__- BAD.
trying HARD to improve the environment,
im trying and trying,
today went to watch collic with jingjing,
its dam freaking coz, this cinema boy keep walking round the theatre dunno for what also,
keep come spot check =.='
the show frightened me,
oh well, im coward =.=, scare of almost every horror movie,
heart nearly flew out.
well, in tht show, hmms, tht gal died horribly, so gross la..
><'
tmr going for 2 interview,
hope i can find the correct place at the 2nd one coz
i never go before -_-
bless me, (:
gonna write till here, dam tired, argh.!
well, this gonna be my sigh off line now.
everything i wanna cry, i force myself to smile
Phyiscal Vs Mental.
People may say physical hurt is worst den mentally hurt.
to me, its mentally.
im mentally-going-breakdown.
Today, he called, well not J, someone special.
he called and ask me how was i , like he cared for me.
den i found out he had a gf.
so to convince myself,
1- he call me because he was bored.
2- he call me beacuse he want to know more abt his gf coz i knew his gf.
dont let me think more, dont let me know u care, if u know this will hurt me, i beg u, let me be alone, i just wish that the reason is either one.
let me keep this in mind.
for if u already decide to let it go, why called. why let me stop to think.
my mom found out that i used to cut myself.
she warn me never to do it again.
im am mentally upset, who can help me, who can save me.
i wanna die, die will end everything, all my misery.
if only i could turn back the time..
everytime i wanna cry, i force myself to smile
i am already at my limits.
A Painful and Remorseful Lesson Learnt.
sorry ppl viewing my blog, its been a long time since i updated.
many things happen and it change my life.
i start back to the story when how it started..
PS - some words are censored, do not wish to be sue (:
i had this friend, know J, i knew him since sec sch, till now poly 2nd yr..
which means, 6 years of fren.
he told me he is work as a n*t w*o**e*,
i din know how is it like so i ask him abt it, den J told me that he will bring me to the company he work as, so that i can know what is it and know more abt the company.
So i agree, that day we went, and before we went up he told me to join or not is my decision.
I went up and den this person A, brief me about the job and after that she just let me fill up a form, well what i thought was just filling a form, so i fill it. its ok to join anyway. no harm.
So the next day, they brief me about the product, den after that A said that one person will have some close friend, so she ask me to list 10 of them.
Well, i listed about 5, den A thought me how to call them to borrow money to buy the product. She say, if u wanna sell the product den u never buy, isnt it wierd, den if ur customers ask u if u got buy or not, and u reply no, isnt this wierd.
Well den she ask me call, teach me.
1- ask ur fren what ur fren is doing etc.
2- tell ur fren that ur mom had a disease and needed amt up to thousands for a thoerapy (nt sure how is this spell)
3- den ask can lend abt 600, if not how much can u lend.
ISNT THIS LYING PPL?!. well i was dumb, i did what they say. i was scare, but J guided me, give me pressure n i call, i call one.. after i called, i regreted. ALOT
this doesnt end, i decide i dun wanna borrow money from my frens, so i borrow from my dad instead, he lend me, but after that regreted.
i bought the product with my dad card the next day, after i buy, A say gonna send J and another guy B to my house to tell my parents abt the product. so i say ok. Den, on the way B told me to tell my parents that he is my senior, someone who help me out alot before, coz he say its beter not to tell him that he is the company ppl, so i said ok.
I did what he say when they were at my house, den, they only briefly tell my mom the details. B force my mom to buy the products saying that it was to support me, not only that, he force my mom alot of times till she is nearly in tears. B even hinted me to ask my mom to support me.
Den my bro knew abt this incident and scolded me badly. i Haven realise it, until den few days later, they ask me to write down my relatives information. den J even ask me to get my IS class contact numbers when i dont even know them. Since past, my relationship isnt well with my relatives, i hated them for how they treated my parents, yet they ask me to sell to them? keep pysco n pressure me. i dun like this.
its like lying to ppl, well they said, selling product, customers dun buy or not its ok. but why do they force my mom? wont they force my relative if i ever go to sell to them?
till now when i start to regret its too late. J not only cheated me, he cheated my darling DDD down to the company too, but she is more luckier den me, she never bought the product.
I wasted dad money, over 1000+ , now i am in debt. trying to find part time to pay off this debt.
But its not the debt problem. i told my dad everything.
almost every night i go home he would say this to me ' u gang up with stranger to cheat ur parents. he is ur best friend? ask him go die '
J, i not sure if u read this, but i wanna let u know,
u RUIN my life, u destroy everything, all i use to have.
u know u make me dun dare to go home?
u know u make me wanna go and die now?
u know how i feel when i am at home?
u know how i feel when they say me? my parents did not beat me, how i wish they beat me, coz the words they say to me hurt me more, its like taking a knife stabbing at my heart.
the bond between us is no longer there, and this is not to be forgotten in a day or 2, it may take years or forever for them to ever forgive me..
i am already at my limits...